Master's got me workin'
Nov. 24th, 2003 01:10 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vollmusWorkin' on the railroad
Someday Master'll set me free...
Merlin, I love South Park. Anyways!
Tomorrow (today, I guess... Monday), my group in World History is going to present our fifteen minute version of Antigone by Sophocles. We have worked at least twenty hours outside of school on that stupid, bloody hilarious piece of crap. Do you know how mad I am going to be if we don't get an A or if nobody laughs? XD I would die. It seems like whenever I have worked hard on something this year, I get a bad grade and/or nobody likes it, and it's really starting to piss me off. (Antigone's pissin' me off. Always telling lies about me dissing the gods... eh, never mind.)
But seriously, I don't know what's going on! I cannot figure out what my core teachers want this year. It seems I can never do good enough for Mr L for eng or Mrs S for hist. I'm getting majorly stressed, and I just wish I could go back to the way it was in fifth grade or something. "They" say that ignorance is bliss, and I totally agree -- when you are truly ignorant in this sense, you don't know that you are ignorant of something, and that is bliss, at least compared to what you would feel if you knew you were ignorant of something and didn't want to be. What I wouldn't give to just finish all this crap. I don't want to die, I just wish life was easier. I know that life is only going to get harder, and that makes me wish it all the more.
One of my major problems with Christianity in general is that I cannot figure out why a completely perfect God would send his children into this other version of hell. Isn't God all-knowing? Couldn't he figure out for himself if we truly loved him or not? Why did he have to send us here? How does he expect us to love him and obey his commandments and all when they are more than 10,000 churches contradicting each other? Why can't he send us more 'solid' signs? As a "kind-of" LDS (Mormon), I will refer to the Book of Mormon: I can assure you, God, if you are there, that if you sent an angel to me, and told me to stop sinning and come unto your fold, I would try as hard as I possibly could. But I cannot believe because of feelings that stay for approximately ten seconds before my epiphanies stop making sense and I feel dumb again.
I don't really want to talk about that anymore. So, back to waht I was saying: I don't want to die, I just wish life was easier. However, since I know this will never, ever happen in my lifetime, because Fates are cruel no matter what god you think commands them, one of the most comforting things I know about my existence is that, someday, I will die.
Someone once said that, "childhood is over the minute you know you are going to die." I keep thinking back, trying to figure out when my childhood ended. When I was eight and I was baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints? When I was ten and I barely had any friends because I left them in fourth grade when I went to fifth? When I was six and I broke my arm? Twelve, when I moved and didn't have any RL friends for two months? Last year at thirteen and a half, when I first thought that death was actually comforting?
If I go back to the topic of religion, man does Cartman's song fit!
Master's got me workin'
Workin' on a railroad
Someday Master'll set me free...
Someday Master'll set me free...
Merlin, I love South Park. Anyways!
Tomorrow (today, I guess... Monday), my group in World History is going to present our fifteen minute version of Antigone by Sophocles. We have worked at least twenty hours outside of school on that stupid, bloody hilarious piece of crap. Do you know how mad I am going to be if we don't get an A or if nobody laughs? XD I would die. It seems like whenever I have worked hard on something this year, I get a bad grade and/or nobody likes it, and it's really starting to piss me off. (Antigone's pissin' me off. Always telling lies about me dissing the gods... eh, never mind.)
But seriously, I don't know what's going on! I cannot figure out what my core teachers want this year. It seems I can never do good enough for Mr L for eng or Mrs S for hist. I'm getting majorly stressed, and I just wish I could go back to the way it was in fifth grade or something. "They" say that ignorance is bliss, and I totally agree -- when you are truly ignorant in this sense, you don't know that you are ignorant of something, and that is bliss, at least compared to what you would feel if you knew you were ignorant of something and didn't want to be. What I wouldn't give to just finish all this crap. I don't want to die, I just wish life was easier. I know that life is only going to get harder, and that makes me wish it all the more.
One of my major problems with Christianity in general is that I cannot figure out why a completely perfect God would send his children into this other version of hell. Isn't God all-knowing? Couldn't he figure out for himself if we truly loved him or not? Why did he have to send us here? How does he expect us to love him and obey his commandments and all when they are more than 10,000 churches contradicting each other? Why can't he send us more 'solid' signs? As a "kind-of" LDS (Mormon), I will refer to the Book of Mormon: I can assure you, God, if you are there, that if you sent an angel to me, and told me to stop sinning and come unto your fold, I would try as hard as I possibly could. But I cannot believe because of feelings that stay for approximately ten seconds before my epiphanies stop making sense and I feel dumb again.
I don't really want to talk about that anymore. So, back to waht I was saying: I don't want to die, I just wish life was easier. However, since I know this will never, ever happen in my lifetime, because Fates are cruel no matter what god you think commands them, one of the most comforting things I know about my existence is that, someday, I will die.
Someone once said that, "childhood is over the minute you know you are going to die." I keep thinking back, trying to figure out when my childhood ended. When I was eight and I was baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints? When I was ten and I barely had any friends because I left them in fourth grade when I went to fifth? When I was six and I broke my arm? Twelve, when I moved and didn't have any RL friends for two months? Last year at thirteen and a half, when I first thought that death was actually comforting?
If I go back to the topic of religion, man does Cartman's song fit!
Master's got me workin'
Workin' on a railroad
Someday Master'll set me free...
