Plan Number Six

And I'm back once again, with yet another entry. It's almost sad how often I update this thing when I don't have people around to talk to all the time, isn't it? I used to think I was fairly introverted; now I realize that I'm only introverted when I'm friendless.

There was this horrific moment a little bit ago where I was reading some really adorable scene in my book and I completely melted. I've obviously been away from my boyfriend for too long. Heavens. I thought I'd passed that stage when I turned eleven, but apparently not.

Lexi and I saw Ocean's 13 this afternoon and followed that up with a very long House marathon. Both were amazing, and I actually got in the right lane this time on the way home from the theater! I'm almost proud. Driving home at three in the morning after the marathon was a little creepy, for some odd reasons that I need not get into, but I got home fine and that's what's important.

I'm listening to far too much music lately. I should probably stop. My shuffled playlist of Lily Allen, Keane, Corinne Bailey Rae, Regina Spektor, The Fratellis, The Feeling, The Kooks, The Scissor Sisters, etc. is like a drug. Is there a patch to help you quit music?

If I'm going to be up this early, I'm going to watch the sun rise. Maybe I should borrow my dad's laptop and make myself comfortable on the deck. That would be rather gorgeous, wouldn't it? I think I've got myself a plan.

Even better than that, though, would be going down to the beach with a sweatshirt and a camera. I can't take the path because I'd be alone and there are rapists(!), but I could drive down there perfectly safely. I'm doing it.

I must be sicker than I thought I was. I've had one long headache since Wednesday, and I haven't slept this poorly for three nights in a row before in my life.

Thursday night was plagued by nosebleeds. I woke up at least five times in the night to get Kleenex and pinch my nose for five or ten minutes before falling back asleep. I fell asleep Friday night only after resorting to reading a section from a very boring book about privacy, then proceeded to toss and turn all night. Last night consisted of about eight different odd scenarios that somehow required me to wake up after each and every one.

Morpheus and Hypnos are jerks.

And really, where is S? If you say you're going to bring something to me in the morning, bring it to me in the morning! If I don't answer the door or you can't come over or whatever, call me or write on my wall or do something, because I am going to be thoroughly annoyed if you don't! I am very seriously considering revoking my offer to help her. My help obviously is not very important to her if she's completely forgotten about it.

That layout change took way more work than it should have. Thanks, dooped. I'm sick and tired, literally. I'm also sick and tired metaphorically, I suppose—

I think that all right-thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that ordinary, decent people are fed up in this country with being sick and tired. I'm certainly not! But I'm sick and tired of being told that I am.

I actually am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I hate being ill. Rain, rain, come back to me! I need you to cheer me up!

You know you haven't slept enough when you start hearing phantom sewing machines working away at three in the morning.

I just had what was probably the worst dream I've had in my entire life.

We're at some sort of youth group meeting, and Colby is teaching a lesson. For some reason, Ed is there, but no one else from school is. So Ed, Devin and I start goofing off. Something to do with a car?... I don't know. That part was weird. But after a bit, I sort of stand back and realize that we're being complete jerks to Colby, so I apologize. Ed and Devin don't, they just leave. I'm really upset that night because of how rude I was to Colby, so I don't even think about what might have happened to Ed and Devin.

When I get to school the next day, I can't remember what the class schedule is. I run into Maria (Ed's girlfriend and one of my best friends) and ask her, but she rolls her eyes at me and storms off. I race after her, make her stop, and ask what in the world is wrong. She tells me that I got Ed in trouble and everyone is pissed. I just stand there, shocked, and she walks off in a huff.

I feel like my world has collapsed around me. I find out from a random person in the halls that we have second period first, so I don't see Sam and Vaness, so I can't confirm that everyone hates me, but I'm pretty sure they do. Somehow time skips ahead to lunch, and I see that Maria is right: Lexi, Sam, Steph, and Vaness are all pissed at me, and no one else in the school will talk to me either, so it seems that everyone hates me for what I did to Ed. (No one at school knows Devin—I doubt they'd care anyway, people are usually happy when something bad happens to Devin.) School lunch that day is lasagna, so I get it, but I can't eat very much.

Our next period is Advisory (which is never after lunch in real life, but oh well), which I have with Ed. I force him to listen to me and finally get him to understand that I wasn't trying to screw him over when I apologized to Colby. He's still annoyed with me, but at least he'll talk to me.

That's all I can remember happening. I hope I never do something that turns everyone (everyone being Maria, Lexi, Sam, Steph, and Vaness, of course, and possibly Ed) against me in real life. If that dream day had been a real day, it would have been one of the worst in my life.

I am happy to report that I can function quite well on one and a half hours of sleep; just as well, in fact, as I can on five or six hours. Possibly even better, as I have a bad relationship with five hours of sleep--one that causes me to almost fall asleep during history and at work.

I am also happy to report that functioning quite well includes 29/30 on my history final and the praise of one of my best critics on my english oral. Hot dog!

Why am I so tired? I feel like I am surrounded by water. Time is moving so slowly, and my head and hands are so heavy. Ugghh.