Plan Number Six

I hate tests. One of the major reasons I chose history as a major is that there are absolutely zero traditional tests in history classes. I am perfectly comfortable determining how long I need to spend writing a paper, but it is impossible for me to determine how much time I need to allocate for studying political theory and microeconomics. This problem is especially aggravating when I have to study for two tests and write a paper for Monday and then write two more papers for Tuesday. Life is a little bit of hell right now.

Thanks god for sisters, friends, and boyfriends; if I were at home I would have gone insane a long time ago.

I feel like my Harry Potter icon collection is not up to the task of all this posting after DH. But after this short period of DH craze, when will I ever really need them again?

( Cut for spoilage. )

( I saw Kevin today! )

Lexi and I saw 1408 tonight. We were both incredibly freaked out. It was fantastic, but there is no way I will ever consent to watching it again. Scary. As. Hell. I definitely recommend it.

Oh my gooooooodddd. This is torture. Go ahead, keep responding to everyone but me! Why am I always the last one? Also, why do I have to have crappy eyes, a calf that is STILL aching a year after the initial injury, shooting pains in my jaw, and a headache to top it all off? Boo! I really should see a doctor. And maybe a shrink.

On the bright side, I saw Kevin today! That makes everything better, really. I got a hug, too, without even asking for one! I love seeing old friends again, especially the more fantastic ones. Lexi and Kevin definitely fall into that category.

I just can't bring myself to fight the giddiness. Kevin! And me! Today! I saw him! Hurray!

I get excited much too easily. But really, why would I fight elation? Rejection, depression, pain, and their accomplices are the only emotions I fight. I like to stay happy, thanks.

Today was kind of odd. I had planned on spending a lot of it with Lexi marathoning House, but that didn't work out. We got the news that my cousin's baby had been born and decided to go visit right after my mom got off work. Juli went with us, and our expedition ended up taking us from the hospital to Ikea, Cosco, and Safeway for a grand total of four hours, which was rather unexpected but kind of fun.

The baby's face was really blotchy. I imagine that's true for all babies, but I joked about it anyway—"Emma obviously needs a proper toning moisturizer to clean up those blotches!" Unfortunately, my sister is currently waiting for the results of a pregnancy blood test to get back to her, so she's very touchy, and she jumped all over me before I pointed out that I was (obviously!) joking. Yeesh. Two months ago the thought of being pregnant almost made her cry to me over the phone. Her opinion has definitely changed. To get her to lighten up I had to make a few jokes about babies on clearance. Tough crowd.

My mom and I ended up looking at glasses frames today while we were at Cosco, and I've decided I like chunkier glasses better than the wire ones I have now. My two favorites were a pair by Calvin Klein and a pair by Emporio Armani that would both be almost completely covered by our insurance. (I'm not 100% sure those are the frames I was looking at, but they're close enough.) About an hour ago or so, though, it hit me that I'll probably be wearing glasses all the time now, and the thought is a bit shocking.

It shouldn't be. I haven't had my eyes checked in two years and I know they've gotten worse; my glasses don't help as much as they used to. It's been a month or so since I started thinking about getting another eye exam and new glasses, so I should be used to the idea by now.

I'm being silly. Glasses aren't a big deal. They'll just make me look even smarter, right?

(The correct response to that question is yes.)

It's been a strange few days. My sleeping schedule is now almost on track with the rest of the world, except instead of staying up later than everyone else, now I'm getting up earlier. I'm already tired enough that I know the trend will continue another day, with me waking up somewhere between five and six tomorrow morning. Oh well, it's better than sleeping the day away!

We've been making some mega landscaping changes around our house. Upsides: an awesome-looking house, a slight tan, and a work-out. Downside: a work-out. It wasn't too bad, I guess. I was really annoyed when my parents stopped for lunch, took a three-hour nap, and then decided to get to work again. I can't stand stopping in the middle of a project, especially for that long. If you're done, stop; if you're not done, get back to work!

Church felt very awkward today. I kept coming up with outfits that would be considered immodest, so I had to keep changing my clothes. I ended up looking good (as always! ha) but feeling incredibly stupid. All through the meetings I couldn't help but think how worthless it was for me to be there since I don't believe in any of it. Instead of being angry about that, though, as my brother always was, I just felt guilty. I should have gone to my old class with Devin; I would have been too distracted to be emo. I don't think it's possible to be around Devin for any significant amount of time and remain unhappy—not for me (and Jenny!), at least. I wish I'd thought of that at the time. Blast!

The plan for tomorrow was going to be rock climbing with my sister, her husband, and some of their friends, but she sprained both of her ankles in a fall today while hiking with the same group, so I doubt we're still going. Even if everyone else is, there's no way I'd go with them without Juli, so no rock climbing for us. Boo!

Apparently I like ending paragraphs with exclamations tonight. How odd!

I need more social contact with non-family members and non-church members; those groups just make me feel down. Also, I need hugs. Lots of them. Why does school only last eight months out of the year? I want my life back!

I'm such a sap. I'm watching Pride and Prejudice right now, and Darcy just clenched the hand that he had used to help Lizzy get into a carriage as he walked away. Aww! I'm so easily won over.

I've been sick since I left Willamette. Coughs, sneezes, aches, and dizzy spells have defined my existence for the past four days, and it certainly hasn't been a ball. (They are totally at a ball right now in the movie! I amuse myself far more than I should.) I've been taking a bath every day in the fantastic tub in my parents' bathroom in an effort to be at least partially cured by the steam, but after each bath I would dry off, put some clothes on, pull my hair back, and go back to lazing around in front of the TV or my mom's computer. Not very mood-lifting. Today, however, I actually groomed myself. It's ridiculous how much better I feel after indulging my vanity. Despite my continued sickness, feeling like I looked somewhat decent today really improved my mood.

In other news, I've declared war on clutter, and I've somehow been able to get my parents in on the fight. I'm going to throw out almost everything in my room right now to make way for the things I brought back from school, the things I truly have use for. While I'm waiting to get a job and start working, my mission is to de-clutter my house, starting, for obvious reasons, with my bedroom. I certainly no longer need papers from my eighth grade science class or receipts from five years ago, so why continue to keep them? Throw the baggage out!

I miss having people around all the time. Certain people more than others, of course, but anyone would be better than no one all day long. It's depressing, being alone again.

Starting my paper wasn't so difficult this time. That's not to say I haven't been putting it off, because I have, but this time I didn't wait until the very last moment I could possibly start. I half wish I had, though, because I really don't enjoy working on short papers in more than one sitting. As it happened, I started it last night around ten and got about a third of the way through it before I needed to go to sleep. Right now I've got about a fourth left, but I've been working like a madwoman for the past hour, so I'm taking a well-deserved break.

I left my car's headlights on after going out to lunch with the girls the other day, so when I went out last night to try to go to Target, my car wouldn't start. Emily's going to jump it for me sometime this afternoon. It definitely needs to be after I finish my paper, because I have to drive around for half an hour or so before I can turn it off again, and I can't let something as stupid as that make me turn my paper in late. I think I'll drive around the Keizer area; I don't know it very well yet.

Last night with Michael was incredibly comfortable. We fell asleep for an hour or so while watching a movie. I love when that happens.

I suppose I should get back to my paper. I'm glad it's only five pages.

This is one of the dumbest memes I have ever filled out. I hate being this bored.

( 100 Things You Didn't Need to Know About Me... )

I've been very angry today. I really don't know why, especially considering I've been very happy, too. I woke up at around six this morning to an internal alarm and messed around a bit before we left for Target, so that was good. Being in the front seat while my mother drove through horrible traffic while devouring a bag of popcorn was not fun at all. Unpacking the van and sorting our loot was amazing; it was great to finally get a good idea of what all we have. Laura and the kids coming over to pick up grandma was fantastic, especially because it means that my grandmother is now out of my house. Joking around with my dad and my sister was nice. Dinner was not nice, as I had to come up with something myself for the billionth time. (Have they cooked a meal at all since I've been home? I sincerely doubt it.) Since then I have been bored out of my mind. I'm only listening to music so I don't have to listen to my hard drive spin. So although there have been some wonderful yellows today, there have been just as many reds and blacks.

I want to go back to school already! Only one more week, thank goodness.

I must be sicker than I thought I was. I've had one long headache since Wednesday, and I haven't slept this poorly for three nights in a row before in my life.

Thursday night was plagued by nosebleeds. I woke up at least five times in the night to get Kleenex and pinch my nose for five or ten minutes before falling back asleep. I fell asleep Friday night only after resorting to reading a section from a very boring book about privacy, then proceeded to toss and turn all night. Last night consisted of about eight different odd scenarios that somehow required me to wake up after each and every one.

Morpheus and Hypnos are jerks.

And really, where is S? If you say you're going to bring something to me in the morning, bring it to me in the morning! If I don't answer the door or you can't come over or whatever, call me or write on my wall or do something, because I am going to be thoroughly annoyed if you don't! I am very seriously considering revoking my offer to help her. My help obviously is not very important to her if she's completely forgotten about it.

It's very disconcerting to come back to my iMac after spending so many months away. My fingers keep hitting the wrong keys, my eyes don't understand the curved screen, and my hand can't control the mouse as well as my fingertip could command the touchpad. My back and legs seem to be the only parts of my body not protesting the change. My back is finally upright, leaning against soft, cool leather with support precisely placed for boring businessmen, and my legs are rejoicing the return of the much more natural bent position in place of the odd mess beneath the blanket with the laptop leaned against the side with the spine in an awkward twist of a line.

I will get used to it, I suppose, like I got used to it in the first place, and the other computers I've gotten used to in my short yet full history of using wonderful, glorious technology, but it will take awhile. It will take awhile to get used to sitting in the corner again, rather than dead center, facing the world head on, brandishing an old yet still stylish Pismo with a smile or a scowl.

Goodbye, my dear friend. It was lovely while your hinges lasted.