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The Point: Hermione would not kick Ron in the nuts if he called her fat.

The Fanfic: Read if you dare. It doesn't seem to be badly written, but I only skimmed through it, and stopped as soon as Hermione "dropkicked" Ron.

The Scene: Gyffindor Common Room. Ron and Hermione are studying. The way they are seated has Hermione blocking Ron's view of the boys' staircase, which he wants to watch to see if Harry will come back downstairs.

The Dialogue:
“Uh, Hermione! You're blocking the door to the boy's staircase. I want to see if Harry comes back down.”

“Are you calling me fat?”

“Well, maybe if you exercised more...”

The Argument: Hermione has known the extent of Ron's girl-smarts for many years now, as this takes place during sixth year. She knows that Ron would not realize how offensive his statement could be to her, and therefore would not take offense. Hermione would insult him back long before she would physically attack him, and she would roll her eyes and shake her head long before she would do that. If she did attack him, it would most likely be through a jinx or hex, not a "dropkick." Also, just like Hermione would never risk exposure by exclaiming over how her hair looks in the back, Hermione is not the sort to take offense to this kind of statement.

The Case: Closed.

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August 2008

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