![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Jul. 6th, 2004
I don't get it.
If I picked up a steak knife or some other type of knife that could cut my skin, it would be to cut food before it would be to cut myself.
I've thought about cutting, you know. What's with it? Why do people do it? How is it so releaving? Then I pick up my pocket knife (which isn't nearly sharp enough to do me any harm other than a bit of pain removing an ingrown nail) and look at it. I look at it for a moment, and imagine myself slowly slicing up some bit of my body, pixel by pixel.
Then my face screws up in disgust. I have enough blemishes on my body already, why in the world would I ever want to actually create more on purpose? Though scars are probably a lot sexier than acne or stretch marks, I doubt it would help anyone to have scars and acne, or scars and stretch marks, or any other combination you could come up with.
What is the attraction? After all my pondering, I still don't get it.
One of my friends supposedly cuts for show. I've never seen the marks, but my other friends have told me all about how she never wears long sleeves or jackets that cover her wrists and then she flaunts the scars. I'm not sure I believe them; one because I've never seen them, and two because she wore a jacket every single day of school that I saw her on, and never took it off during our one class together. I have no idea who to believe in, but I truthfully don't worry much, because there's nothing that I can do for my friend if she's having these problems, because we're not all that close. We don't talk deep; just comedy. I've generally kept it out of my mind since I found out about the supposed situation, because otherwise I would be in complete conflict with myself over who to believe in.
If she does, if she doesn't, whatever--I still don't get it. You want attention? If a person wants to go see a psychiatrist or be put on suicide watch, then it's a perfect plan, but really. Do they really want all their former friends talking behind their backs about how annoying and stupid they are for faking something deadly serious, just for the attention? If anyone reading this now cuts and does not want to be approached by concerned friends, parents, or teachers, does not want to talk to a psychiatrist, or does not want to be looked down upon because of their slicing problems, then I suggest that you stop (collaborate and listen... yeah, nevermind) cutting before you get yourself into those postentially annoying situations. I would actually like to go see a psychiatrist, but I definitely don't want to be in there because people think I'm suicidal.
Please, I beg you--stop causing yourself so much pain and torment, along with the people around you, and channel your depression into something else. A lot of extremely good music and art comes from people who are depressed. I'm sure you could channel it into politics, even, if you wanted to. Find a way to make your feelings work for you, rather than letting them control you and destroy your life. If you're really just doing it fr attention, couldn't you find some other way? I'm sure that no one ignores you so much that the only way they'll ever notice you is for you to display your self-mutilation tendencies.
Well, that's the end of that. I have no idea where I was planning to go with this thing; I just wrote as best as I could whatever I was thinking, and it seems to have come out okay.
If I picked up a steak knife or some other type of knife that could cut my skin, it would be to cut food before it would be to cut myself.
I've thought about cutting, you know. What's with it? Why do people do it? How is it so releaving? Then I pick up my pocket knife (which isn't nearly sharp enough to do me any harm other than a bit of pain removing an ingrown nail) and look at it. I look at it for a moment, and imagine myself slowly slicing up some bit of my body, pixel by pixel.
Then my face screws up in disgust. I have enough blemishes on my body already, why in the world would I ever want to actually create more on purpose? Though scars are probably a lot sexier than acne or stretch marks, I doubt it would help anyone to have scars and acne, or scars and stretch marks, or any other combination you could come up with.
What is the attraction? After all my pondering, I still don't get it.
One of my friends supposedly cuts for show. I've never seen the marks, but my other friends have told me all about how she never wears long sleeves or jackets that cover her wrists and then she flaunts the scars. I'm not sure I believe them; one because I've never seen them, and two because she wore a jacket every single day of school that I saw her on, and never took it off during our one class together. I have no idea who to believe in, but I truthfully don't worry much, because there's nothing that I can do for my friend if she's having these problems, because we're not all that close. We don't talk deep; just comedy. I've generally kept it out of my mind since I found out about the supposed situation, because otherwise I would be in complete conflict with myself over who to believe in.
If she does, if she doesn't, whatever--I still don't get it. You want attention? If a person wants to go see a psychiatrist or be put on suicide watch, then it's a perfect plan, but really. Do they really want all their former friends talking behind their backs about how annoying and stupid they are for faking something deadly serious, just for the attention? If anyone reading this now cuts and does not want to be approached by concerned friends, parents, or teachers, does not want to talk to a psychiatrist, or does not want to be looked down upon because of their slicing problems, then I suggest that you stop (collaborate and listen... yeah, nevermind) cutting before you get yourself into those postentially annoying situations. I would actually like to go see a psychiatrist, but I definitely don't want to be in there because people think I'm suicidal.
Please, I beg you--stop causing yourself so much pain and torment, along with the people around you, and channel your depression into something else. A lot of extremely good music and art comes from people who are depressed. I'm sure you could channel it into politics, even, if you wanted to. Find a way to make your feelings work for you, rather than letting them control you and destroy your life. If you're really just doing it fr attention, couldn't you find some other way? I'm sure that no one ignores you so much that the only way they'll ever notice you is for you to display your self-mutilation tendencies.
Well, that's the end of that. I have no idea where I was planning to go with this thing; I just wrote as best as I could whatever I was thinking, and it seems to have come out okay.
